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November 16, 2009
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That which cannot be seen by sight
One must learn to feel within the heart;
For in that realm the invisible becomes visible,
In that realm the lost become found:
True Love is but a teardrop away,
A silent scream away,
A head raise to Heaven away,
A heartbeat away:
This Love is a topsy-turvy and a helter-skelter,
This Love is the great unbound Wild,
The greatest adventure,
And this uplifting of the soul,
This fire of the spirit,
This unfettered freedom,
This grace,
This love,
Is my God.
:iconlethart:
:heart:

God is good.


All my works are © B.S. Smith with all rights reserved and shall not be reproduced, altered, or used in any other way without my written consent. Thank you.

Thank you for taking the time to view my work, and for adding it to your favorites if you choose to do so!

Comments are always welcome and appreciated!
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:iconinsanewalk:
You open the poem with 'That which cannot be seen by site, one must learn to feel within the heart'

This drew me in instantly. It presented an original thought and made me go, "What?" Thus, I read on, and eventually decided to write a critique.

Your use of imagery paints a beautiful portrait of 'This Love' and creates a vivid dance of the 'topsy-turvy' and 'wild' thing we call love -- and that is very difficult to do! Beautiful.

Technicalities;
-I think you meant 'sight' not 'site'.
-'A head raise to Heaven away -- I see what you are trying to say, but it is unclear and doesn't make sense.


Other than that, it is nothing short of a beautiful, well-crafted and thought provoking piece. Keep it up!

With Love,
Andrew
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:iconkylebelieves:
this was symbolic, metaphoric, and literal all at the same time, which is so hard to achieve while writing.
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:iconlethart:
~LethArt Nov 16, 2009  Professional Photographer
thank you :)

welcome to deviant art
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:iconaquagirl7:
i agree with insanewalk, i love how you start saying how love is something we feel, not to perceive but.......i think you can give a little more variation of diction, its just a suggestion but it could help

anywho, this poem is lovely :)
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:iconlethart:
~LethArt Nov 16, 2009  Professional Photographer
The repetitive diction was to create a bouncy, wild sort of flow to it.

Thank you :)
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:icondamien-c:
It's wonderful to see that devotion. A sweet surrender. Beautiful poem.
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:iconlethart:
~LethArt Nov 16, 2009  Professional Photographer
thank you, Damien.
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:iconha91:
=HA91 Nov 16, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Agreed :heart:
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